Women’s History Month: Irene tells the story of the inspirational women in her life.
To celebrate Women’s History Month, we’ve asked members of the SAY team to tell us the stories of female family members with incredible stories and how they have influenced their lives. On the 9th anniversary of her moving to London from Spain, Irene Pastor tells the personal stories of the women in her family and how they inspired her.
On 11th March 2013 my life changed. I moved to London from Murcia (southeast Spain) and left everything behind; my family, my friends, an ex-boyfriend, the language, the culture, the sea and even the sun. I was on my own and absolutely everything was new to me, even the English language which at that time sounded like Chinese to me! It was not an easy journey at all, but the women in my family taught me how to be strong and overcome challenges. They taught me to stand up after falling, keep going, follow my dreams and work hard to achieve my goals.
Let me start with my grandmother, my second mother. She was a smart, loving and funny person. She was the rock of the family and she was always there to look after all of us, but one day things turned around and she was the one who needed to be looked after. She was diagnosed with gangrene, a serious condition where a loss of blood supply causes body tissue to die.
My grandmother, who was called Rafaela, started to lose mobility in her legs and it gradually got worse. This horrible illness spread all over her left leg, and surgeons had to amputate it to try to stop the spread. Unfortunately, that did not help and her right leg also had to be amputated two years after. During all those years, my grandmother still kept her positivity and sense of humour, she was just an incredible woman. Sadly, the illness killed her 16 years ago.
How could I not be strong after seeing my second mother without legs when I was only 18 years old? How could I not be strong after seeing all the pain and suffering that she went through for many years? She did not deserve that, no one does.
The next warrior in my family is her daughter, Maria. My mother has also gone through tough challenges during her life but like me, she learned from my grandmother how to face and overcome those. My grandmother could not have children and she adopted my mother when she was just a few months old, gave her a happy childhood, an education and lots of love. However, my mother only found out that she was adopted when my grandmother died – my mother was 41 at that time, so you can imagine the shock.
Who was she? Who were her biological parents? Why did they give her in adoption? Why her adoptive parents never told her the truth? Did she have any siblings? So many questions and unfortunately zero answers. My mother never met her biological parents, and I never met my biological grandparents.
My mother tried to move forward and carry on with her life, but she had to face a new challenge four years later. After a difficult and unhappy 19 years marriage, my parents got divorced and my mother got custody of my sister, brother and myself. She was completely alone – remember that at this point, her adoptive mother had died, also her adoptive father had died of a brain tumour when my mother was only 31, her biological parents did not even want to meet her, and as far as she knew she did not have any siblings. Somehow, my mother still managed to raise three children on her own! I admire and respect her so much for this.
I know most people would say this about their mother, but my mother is truly the most genuine, generous and kindest person I know. I always tell her that she is too nice, and she should not be because some people take advantage of this. I could expand on this, but I am trying to keep the story relatively short.
Finally, and on a more positive note, it is my sister who has inspired me. Elena is just one year younger than me, so she is not only my sister but also my best friend! We played together when we were kids and we went out together when we were teenagers (we still do!). We have been living in different countries for nine years, but we are still very close.
On 11th July 2020, my sister gave birth to the love of my life, my beautiful niece Carla! My sister is not only a great friend but also an amazing mother, and I have learned so much from her in the past 20 months. 20 is also the number of kilos that my sister gained during the pregnancy, which is about three stones. My sister has always been in very good shape so as soon as she could, she started doing diet and going to the gym five or six days a week. Nine months after giving birth, my sister had lost all that weight and she was very healthy and fit again! I admire her so much for her willpower and consistency.
I would like to end this story by thanking these three wonderful women in my family. All I am and have today is to a great extent thanks to them! I would also like to thank SAY Property Consulting for giving me the opportunity to share this story.
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